My first Mysore class experience

So I recently went to my first ever Mysore class. It felt sooooo different from a led class. It was so hard to concentrate on my own practice when everyone around me is doing something different! I kept miscounting my surya namaskara Bs (accidentally making some of them into surya As). I would also skip a pose, then realize it a few poses later, do that pose, then go back to what I was doing, totally re-ordering the Primary series. I was also totally not used the teacher's adjustments. My usual teacher normally starts with a gentle push, and then deepen the adjustment, holding it for 3-5 breaths, for both sides. The teacher at this shala would give me a 1-2 second squish one side only and walk away. For Mari D I got a non-gentle double shoulder grab - upper body deepening twist that was neither painful nor unsafe, but still left me kind of surprised. I guess I've been too pampered and spoiled in my regular led primary series classes. Supta kurmasana was a towel grab rather than a bind, but this teacher gave a pretty strong adjustment that got my feet crossing above my head, and that felt good. In supta padangusthasana A, usually I pull my leg down to my face, but this teacher held my leg straight in the air and made me come up to meet it. Made the pose feel totally different (ie. much more challenging, which is probably exactly what I needed).

I guess the idea of Mysore classes is to go at your own pace, spending a few more breaths in poses that need more work, and even repeating things that need work. However I felt totally insecure without a teacher verbally going through instructions on things to watch out in each pose, or what was supposed proper pace. I'm too used to being told what to do, so I ended up rushing through the entire series due to nervousness. I think I caught up and surpassed several people who started much earlier than I did. I might have also completely skipped a few poses by accident, but there would be no way to know because I had no memory of what I did and did not do 2 poses earlier, and the teacher wasn't really watching me (the shala was pretty happening). I think I also might have started counting my breaths while I was still getting into each pose, so probably I only held each pose for about 3-4 breaths.

Overall it was a very rushed practice at the fault of no one but myself. It was fun watching people do intermediate poses at close proximity. Hey, don't judge me for my drishti violations; it's my first time experiencing this so I just had to check out poses I'd never seen in real life before. It'll probably take awhile before I get used to Mysore style practice; for now I will stick to led Primary classes (and my regular teacher's handholding style adjustments, hehehe).

Update: I want to stress I'm not dissing Mysore style of practice. This is just my personal experience after over one year of led primary practice with the same teacher. I would happily switch to a Mysore class if my regular led class 5 minutes from where I live no longer becomes available to me.