I have moved to a new apartment, finished the last travels of this year (at least until Christmas), so I'm hoping to settle down soon. Except my contract only lasts until March.
Taking a hard look at at my life, it seems like my tendency is to force myself to do something difficult and miserable, hoping to have, in exchange, a better life with better choices down the road. The problem is, if I pick a wrong approach to deal with people or to do a task, then it doesn't matter how hard I push myself, how much time I spend on a project, at the end of the journey, I for sure won't end up where I want to be.
So now I no longer have a roommate. I kind of miss the social interaction, but actually I can only stand socializing with her for about 10 minutes, then her negativity starts to get to me. My fwb can stand me for about 24-36 hours, then I become too chatty/annoying for him.
I think like my roommate, I may never find someone who doesn't get sick of me after hanging out with me for extended periods of time. But I still have to try to look for one. It's difficult though, as fwb behaves like a superb bf when we get together, helping me move, cooking me breakfast, etc. One day I'll be strong enough to leave him and not cry every single day. But that day is not today.
The contract deadline looming, I need to apply for more jobs. Except I seem to end up applying for jobs I don't want that badly, and then I don't know what I should to do at the interview. All will work out in the end I guess.
Taking a hard look at at my life, it seems like my tendency is to force myself to do something difficult and miserable, hoping to have, in exchange, a better life with better choices down the road. The problem is, if I pick a wrong approach to deal with people or to do a task, then it doesn't matter how hard I push myself, how much time I spend on a project, at the end of the journey, I for sure won't end up where I want to be.
So now I no longer have a roommate. I kind of miss the social interaction, but actually I can only stand socializing with her for about 10 minutes, then her negativity starts to get to me. My fwb can stand me for about 24-36 hours, then I become too chatty/annoying for him.
I think like my roommate, I may never find someone who doesn't get sick of me after hanging out with me for extended periods of time. But I still have to try to look for one. It's difficult though, as fwb behaves like a superb bf when we get together, helping me move, cooking me breakfast, etc. One day I'll be strong enough to leave him and not cry every single day. But that day is not today.
The contract deadline looming, I need to apply for more jobs. Except I seem to end up applying for jobs I don't want that badly, and then I don't know what I should to do at the interview. All will work out in the end I guess.
Hey! :) I'm really no expert, but I find people annoy each other in equal measure! I haven't read that many of your posts... but we're all equal in the department of annoyance :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments Apprentice of Life. Yes I know for a fact I annoy a fair share of people in the world. I wonder how I can deal with this. Life is tough.....
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