Thursday, September 17, 2015

Too much bullshit in my life

These days I've been thinking a lot about quitting my job and going home. My boss is grossly egotistical, delusional, and manipulative (and charming like a snake). I don't share the same values as my coworkers here. I am being regarded as a tech rather than a scholar. The guy whom I so far have regarded as my best friend treats me like crap. There is just a ton of delusion and very little compassion, wisdom, spirituality, let alone equanimity or enlightenment.

They say you are the average of those who are closest to you. Basically I have been this pessimistic chronic complainer who's always negative and unhappy about everything. This is super unhealthy. I need to get out of this social environment but I don't know how. I really want to wrap up my work so I have something to show for my time here, but the bosses and collaborators are making it very difficult. I'm looking forward to the day when I can get away from all the bullshit in my life.


2 comments:

  1. Bullshit never goes away...It's just fill in the blanks. It is always present in some form or other. This is called suffering. This is the constant presence that each one of us have to deside how we are going to let this bullshit control and lead us around in life. Now...maybe you are lucky and you were taught to follow your thoughts and now relize that all the bullshit in the world really means nothing and it is how you react to it that gives it it's power and makes you miserable and want to quit your job and run away home when you might be so close to having the time of your life, because you ARE having the time of your life but you are listening to all the programs in your head instead of doing your meditation practise every day with your asana practise cause you might be lazy and you are now living in your head instead of being grateful for the breath in your chest and worrying about the future that never arrives cause you are just here right now!!...Whew! .. that was a lot of wind... Hopefully this blows to you. Don't worry. You are perfect right now... in this fleeting moment... all will be well...live your life... be courageous. be grateful. be happy.....that's all there is...but remember that is the most challenging thing to achieve....Enjoy.... love.... Namaste'

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Anonymous, I think you're absolutely right! I easily get stuck in my head instead of seeing the bigger picture. Thanks for pointing it out...

      Delete